Mad Farmer Sascha #67


Sometimes I wake from my dreams with the fragments dancing around my head like a loonytoon halo, my mind dangling somewhere on the tightrope border between awake and asleep - just enough time to grasp a few sliver images and scribble them into sentences like code and know I can return later to find the beginning seeds of a story or some jumbled surreal parable about the inner workings of my life.
    Sometimes I wake to the sonic pulsing of my alarm clock, late for work or knee deep in the chaos of my house, my dreams smashed to pieces like an intricately carved stained glass window I've been building all night that no one will ever see - lost in a careless second like a precariously placed set of dishes or some random train of thought bound for nowheresville USA, wrecked before it ever reached its destination.
    Sometimes I wake from my dreams clear like a vision, retracing my steps in a trance like grasping tight onto the tail of a flying dragon and being pulled back through my nights adventures scene by scene - forty minutes later, bleary-eyed, sitting up in bed, marveling over pages of scrawl and the whole world I've created for myself out of all the refuse and memories and random bits of this manic life, the words so honest like a mirror but so true like nothing I could ever speak to you awake - the honesty staring me in the face.
    However you want to see it, dreams are really important because they don't play by the rules we're forced to live by during our waking lives. Dreams let our minds run free and open like the wind - let our creativity flow unhindered if we can only find the keys to tap into it and appreciate what it is we all have inside ourselves.
    There's something really important about the honesty of dreams - something raw and clear and hidden under all the blankets of our waking minds dulled and numbed by all the billboards and clocks and hours spent on the highway. Our sleeping thoughts can't be controlled in the same way our waking minds can - things always slip through the cracks. Everything comes out in our sleep - our fears and desires and hidden aspirations, all masked and veiled in layers of metaphor and riddle, left for you to be unwrapped like a magical piece of candy every morning when you wake up.
    Unfortunately, so many of us don't even have the self-awareness to remember what we've been dreaming about all night before the clock radio switches on and starts blaring morning news and we slam down the coffee to try to get to work on time. It's a social reality. Dreams don't play any recognized role in our culture because they don't fit into the framework of work and television -  the world of business that keeps us out of touch with our desires long enough to suck us dry and spit us out all old and tired and wondering what happened.
    But the thing is: DREAMS ARE FREE. Dreams don't have any commercial interruptions or corporate sponsorships or weird sneaky agendas. When you dream at night, you're the master of your own reality and there are no Hollywood actors to idolize or popular cultural icons to use as projections of your secret little wants and desires. There's no other persons' totally warped and frustrated sex and violence fantasies you have to endure or somehow mutely vicariously live through like some drooling dog listening to bells ringing. Dreams don't create any alienation between the performers and the audience like most big entertainment substitutes because everyone in your dreams is tragic roles in your head.
    Ignore all that hyped-up nintendo virtual reality brain junk stuff they've been trying to sell you for years now and just keep a pad of paper and a pen by your bed so you can write down your dreams when you wake up in the morning. I think you'll find the most mundane little fragments will flower into crazy adventure stories or at least little comic slivers of irony you can laugh to yourself about later  You're the star of the show and the great thing is: the show's on every night.
    Dreams have the potential to be really empowering, straight up. Even the scairest, most fucked up nightmare can be turned into a positive experience if you can learn to deal with the stuff going on inside your head and talk to your friends about it ("Wow.. So I'm not the only one who has those crazy post-apocalyptic urban nightmare dreams...What could this mean?")
    Rather than distractions spewed out in the think tanks and focus groups of homogenized cultures mind control factories which try to sell you empty symbols for or against their corporate order or flip your mind around simultaneously in three different directions until you're left feeling totally confused  and disempowered wondering what's really true and what's just on television, our dreams are self-taught lessons if we let them be, puzzles we create to delve into, clues to the inner workings of our own and each other  minds, diving boards for whatever the fuck we want...truly. It's all you, kid.
    Just like how art is viewed as something good when it's hanging on some museum wall looking pretty but not when it inspires you to quit your job and experience new freedoms, there's a deep rooted fear of creativity in our society that I guess all feeds out of a resistance to change and fear of the unknown. We're taught to fear anything that doesn't come under the accepted channels. We're taught to belittle or trivialize anything that can't be explained through modern science or religion. Ironically, it's our creativity that holds so much of our beauty and strength. I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I sometimes dance that thin line between awake and asleep living on the margins or the bleed in time between late night and early morning and that's when most of my creativity pours out, the borderlines where all the interesting stuff is.
    We desperately need to learn how to harness our creativity. Find that point where we can maintain a certain amount of focus in our lives and work towards concrete goals and at the same time keep our eyes fresh and open find the balance, acknowledge the craziness. Our creativity chips away at the rotting foundations of doctrine, breathes new life into the old, opens our eyes wider in the daytime walking down the street watching everyone  else and realizing they all dream every night too.
    So what I think people need to do is to  get together and talk about their dreams a whole lot more. I'd even go as far as to say that it's revolutionary. I'm not saying that a bunch of people sitting around and talking about their dreams together poses a threat to global capitalism or the deeply entrenched systems of elite people in power who are raping the planet and enslaving its people. I'm not saying that writing down your dreams every morning and discussing them with your friends is going to make it any easier to pay your rent every month or get your boss off your back. I'm not saying that any of this is any excuse to not be an active participant in your daily life and slip off into some dream world. I'm saying that it's time to take back control of our lives on all levels including the subconscious, and that not only means shutting off the TV and becoming more in touch with ourselves as creative individuals, it means learning to work together and trust each other in groups - learning to support each other , learning to break down some of the layers of urban mental armor and distrust we all have and making ourselves vulnerable and sharing secrets with each other - finding common connections and bridging gaps  - finding understanding - realizing our true power and our roles here in this life we all have.
    Just imagine that you and everyone at your job got together every morning and instead of talking about the Game or the current tragedy on the news or that laugh-track formula sit-com you've seen a hundred times with different characters, instead you all talked about your dreams from the night before. I guarantee something very different would go on. A power shift on all sorts of different levels would take place. It would pave the way for real teamwork based on honesty and communication getting over or fears. It's easier to rally against a common enemy than to deal with our own fears. Because honesty like that is the real bonding and not the false bonding of flags and anthems and governments and borders. They divide us up into teams like football and make us fight each other.

    If we could learn to speak the language of dreams to each other, so that I could tell you my dreams and you could tell me yours, and we could wander together through each others mazes and staircases of metaphors and reflections, like we had angel wings, silent and pensive above the scene with unspoken knowledge, then I think, maybe, we'd actually be getting somewhere in this world. If we could take our stories and questions out of isolation, grapple with our fears, open up individually and close back around each other as a group tighter than we were before - even reform as a group with a greater knowledge of ourselves and the world around us - tighten the circles that intersect our lives and learn from each others differences and similarities  - we'd be much closer to controlling our own lives  - learn how to harness our energy, break down borders and open up those doors. Only through our vulnerability can we truly become stronger. We just have to look a little bit closer sometimes and things are so obvious right there in front of us, staring us in the face with a sarcastic smirk or a knowing side glance: our dreams, in their honesty, can give us the tools to create visions of a new world.
-Sascha Dubrul